I’m glad you’re here.

What is most important to you? MOST people would say their relationships–spouse, children, friends, family–are far more important than their job or social commitments.  Yet somehow Life can take over, and these very relationships get neglected. Healthy relationships take some work. Sometimes it can be hard and messy. Sometimes we feel like giving up. And […]

Happy Marriages Have This In Common

I have a challenge for you that want a happy marriage. An alternative this season to the lure of the incessant advertisers and retailers, trying to convince us we don’t already have what we need to be happy. What would our lives be like if we practiced gratitude as a regular habit? More specifically, what if […]

This Word May Just Grow On You

Surrender. Quick word association…what words or feelings come to mind when you hear that word?  My hunch, confirmed by a little quick research, suggests that most of us would not include that word in our “how to succeed in life” list. It sounds like giving up, giving in, weakness.  Yet this word has been swirling […]

Learning the Language of Love

Healthy Marriage Habits, Habit 4

Of all the habits we might develop to have a healthy marriage, loving our spouse seems like it would be the easiest, right? Love brought us together, so why should it be something we have to pay attention to? I once had a client inform me,  “I told my wife I loved her the day […]

Habits are safer than rules; you don’t have to watch them. And you don’t have to keep them either. They keep you.

Frank Crane

What Real Partnership In Marriage Can Look Like

A rainbow will always stop me in my tracks—but a double rainbow—that is something special. A real partnership in marriage can be equally special and rare. Unexpected gifts I met a young couple recently for breakfast to talk about ways to encourage marriages. He serves on a church staff, she’s a gifted artist, and together […]

Being Married Means More of This

Healthy Marriage Habits, Challenge 2

What is one of the best memories you have from the time you and your spouse were dating? Give yourself time to sit with that memory…yes, right now! What were you wearing? What were you doing together? Best of all, what did you FEEL? I really want you to capture that before you skim through […]

What Driver’s Ed Taught Me About Marriage

Healthy Marriage Challenge 1

It is impossible to love someone perfectly. Harder yet to love “til death do us part.” The habits that couples develop have much to do with whether the marriage ends up “for better or for worse.” This is the first installation of monthly challenges that will help create healthy habits in your marriage. Many troubled […]

How to Ask For Change In Marriage

“For better or worse” or some version, are the words most couples promise when they say “I do”. However, this doesn’t mean that we never ask for change in marriage. If iron sharpens iron, and we stretch to become a better version of ourselves through marriage, then something will be changing. Happily married couples often […]

Habits of Healthy Relationships

The Good Marriage Challenge

We are creatures of habit. Habits can be helpful.  Creating a morning routine can shave time off your day when you don’t have to think about what comes next. Some habits evolve out of laziness–like leaving dirty clothes wherever they fall, to be picked up only when you run out of clean underwear. Lazy habits […]