I’m glad you’re here.

What is most important to you? MOST people would say their relationships–spouse, children, friends, family–are far more important than their job or social commitments.  Yet somehow Life can take over, and these very relationships get neglected. Healthy relationships take some work. Sometimes it can be hard and messy. Sometimes we feel like giving up. And […]

Healthy Marriage Habits: Challenge 1

What driver's ed taught me about marriage

It is impossible to love someone perfectly. Harder yet to love “til death do us part.” The habits that couples develop have much to do with whether the marriage ends up “for better or for worse.” This is the first installation of monthly challenges that will help create healthy habits in your marriage. Many troubled […]

How to Ask For Change In Marriage

“For better or worse” or some version, are the words most couples promise when they say “I do”. However, this doesn’t mean that we never ask for change in marriage. If iron sharpens iron, and we stretch to become a better version of ourselves through marriage, then something will be changing. Happily married couples often […]

Habits of Healthy Relationships

The Good Marriage Challenge

We are creatures of habit. Habits can be helpful.  Creating a morning routine can shave time off your day when you don’t have to think about what comes next. Some habits evolve out of laziness–like leaving dirty clothes wherever they fall, to be picked up only when you run out of clean underwear. Lazy habits […]

Finding What We’re Looking For

Guest post by Sarah Sandifer, On (Re)Finding connection in marriage

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We’re standing in the kitchen on a Tuesday, it’s a small kitchen, not much room to move around, and we are putting away our dishes. He’s grabbing mugs and spatulas as I’m grabbing bowls and forks and we move around each other as we find a place for everything and everything in its place. Stepping […]

Summary of the Speaker/Listener Tool

This is a summary of the process described in this post. If the issue at hand is complicated, set aside time that won’t be interrupted. Turn off cell phones and commit to focus until you can work through the issue at hand. Ask the other if this is a good time. Bringing up a complex issue […]

How To Create A Safe Zone For Your Marriage

The tension in the room was so thick we could hardly breathe. Hand grenades of words had been launched, and these dear friends came to us in search of a cease fire. We sat around the table, trying to navigate the hidden land mines, leftovers from their previous marriages. They had been married less than […]

How To Love Your Spouse Through Depression

Guest post by Christine M. Chappell

My eyes were as wet as the dishes I was washing. The clouds of tears didn’t stop me from scrubbing as hard as I could, hoping somehow the clean of the sink might also mean the clean of my bleeding broken heart. I was at the bottom of a two-week low—a particularly deep cycle of […]

How Do You Know Who To Marry?

A letter to my daughter

“Mom, could you write down some questions that we should be asking?” our daughter asked recently. She and her boyfriend are having more conversations about the future. Knowing my passion for healthy relationships, she trusted me with that question. This is a version of the letter I wrote in response. Dear H, You asked me […]

The importance of time alone together

Getting back to just the two of you

Sometimes you CAN judge a book by it’s cover. This one, tattered from years of rereading, was a gift I have treasured for 30 years. Some may only know of Charles Lindbergh, the famous aviator. However, his wife, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, was a gifted writer. This little book, written on a two week retreat in […]