I’m glad you’re here.

What is most important to you? MOST people would say their relationships–spouse, children, friends, family–are far more important than their job or social commitments.  Yet somehow Life can take over, and these very relationships get neglected. Healthy relationships take some work. Sometimes it can be hard and messy. Sometimes we feel like giving up. And […]

Finding What We’re Looking For

Guest post by Sarah Sandifer, On (Re)Finding connection in marriage

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We’re standing in the kitchen on a Tuesday, it’s a small kitchen, not much room to move around, and we are putting away our dishes. He’s grabbing mugs and spatulas as I’m grabbing bowls and forks and we move around each other as we find a place for everything and everything in its place. Stepping […]

Summary of the Speaker/Listener Tool

This is a summary of the process described in this post. If the issue at hand is complicated, set aside time that won’t be interrupted. Turn off cell phones and commit to focus until you can work through the issue at hand. Ask the other if this is a good time. Bringing up a complex issue […]

How To Create A Safe Zone For Your Marriage

The tension in the room was so thick we could hardly breathe. Hand grenades of words had been launched, and these dear friends came to us in search of a cease fire. We sat around the table, trying to navigate the hidden land mines, leftovers from their previous marriages. They had been married less than […]

How To Love Your Spouse Through Depression

Guest post by Christine M. Chappell

My eyes were as wet as the dishes I was washing. The clouds of tears didn’t stop me from scrubbing as hard as I could, hoping somehow the clean of the sink might also mean the clean of my bleeding broken heart. I was at the bottom of a two-week low—a particularly deep cycle of […]

How Do You Know Who To Marry?

A letter to my daughter

“Mom, could you write down some questions that we should be asking?” our daughter asked recently. She and her boyfriend are having more conversations about the future. Knowing my passion for healthy relationships, she trusted me with that question. This is a version of the letter I wrote in response. Dear H, You asked me […]

The importance of time alone together

Getting back to just the two of you

Sometimes you CAN judge a book by it’s cover. This one, tattered from years of rereading, was a gift I have treasured for 30 years. Some may only know of Charles Lindbergh, the famous aviator. However, his wife, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, was a gifted writer. This little book, written on a two week retreat in […]

Sweetest love letter of all time

In a world of skimming news, texts, tweets, instagram posts and facebook, sometimes an article pops up that cannot be skimmed over. This article You May Want to Marry My Husband, written as the sweetest love letter of all time/dating profile (Princess Bride pales here), is a piece that is a gift on so many levels. […]

How To Have a SMART Marriage, Starting Today

The miracle question that will change your focus

“Hey, honey, how would you rate our marriage, on a scale of 1-10?” I asked as we were hiking. Long pause. “Ok, time’s up–why the delay?” I should know better than to expect an immediate answer…it’s not his way. “Well,” he said, “I was just thinking there’s always room for improvement, so I was trying […]