How To Have a SMART Marriage, Starting Today

The miracle question that will change your focus

“Hey, honey, how would you rate our marriage, on a scale of 1-10?” I asked as we were hiking. Long pause. “Ok, time’s up–why the delay?” I should know better than to expect an immediate answer…it’s not his way. “Well,” he said, “I was just thinking there’s always room for improvement, so I was trying […]

Love Is Not Enough

The one question that will change the focus of your marriage

Falling in love is not hard…but love is not enough to keep a marriage healthy. Some people learn that truth, and sear it in their mind. Others ink it into their skin, where it will be a constant reminder. And if I could help couples understand that you can love someone, but not be compatible, […]

Two Things to Remember When Marriage is Hard

Marriage is that relationship that becomes comfortable over time, like your favorite pair of jeans or shoes that are broken in just so. With that comfort, though, is an alternate reality–familiarity can breed contempt. The things we say to our spouse out of anger or frustration sometimes are things we would NEVER say to a […]

My Five Husbands

I have been married to at least 5 different men, and loved each one more than the last. Now, before you compare me to Elizabeth Taylor…let me just clarify…I have only been married once, but he has evolved, as have I, over the course of 36 years. Idealistic seminarian The first man was the idealistic […]

The Secret to Your Man’s Heart

We sat across from each other at our favorite lunch spot, happy to have a little face time, just the two of us. Three kids with multiple schedules and each of us running our own businesses left little time for uninterrupted conversation in those days. I thought it was just any old lunch, but this day proved […]

For the newlyweds (What I wish we’d known then)

There’s something wistful about seeing newly weds. Their relationship is fresh and new–their whole future is before them.  I wouldn’t go back to those days, but I do wish we had known some things that we learned the hard way. It’s hard to give advice to engaged or newly married couples, because they are convinced […]

The State of Your Union

12 practical ideas for improving your marriage

Continuing on the theme of resolutions/goals, (click here for the post) I have a question for those of you that are married.  How would you rate the “state of your Union” on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being “couldn’t be any better”? I recently asked my guy of 36 years, and there was a long pause. […]