This Word May Just Grow On You

Surrender. Quick word association…what words or feelings come to mind when you hear that word?  My hunch, confirmed by a little quick research, suggests that most of us would not include that word in our “how to succeed in life” list. It sounds like giving up, giving in, weakness.  Yet this word has been swirling […]

Learning the Language of Love

Healthy Marriage Habits, Habit 4

Of all the habits we might develop to have a healthy marriage, loving our spouse seems like it would be the easiest, right? Love brought us together, so why should it be something we have to pay attention to? I once had a client inform me,  “I told my wife I loved her the day […]

What Real Partnership In Marriage Can Look Like

A rainbow will always stop me in my tracks—but a double rainbow—that is something special. A real partnership in marriage can be equally special and rare. Unexpected gifts I met a young couple recently for breakfast to talk about ways to encourage marriages. He serves on a church staff, she’s a gifted artist, and together […]

What Driver’s Ed Taught Me About Marriage

Healthy Marriage Challenge 1

It is impossible to love someone perfectly. Harder yet to love “til death do us part.” The habits that couples develop have much to do with whether the marriage ends up “for better or for worse.” This is the first installation of monthly challenges that will help create healthy habits in your marriage. Many troubled […]

Finding What We’re Looking For

Guest post by Sarah Sandifer, On (Re)Finding connection in marriage

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We’re standing in the kitchen on a Tuesday, it’s a small kitchen, not much room to move around, and we are putting away our dishes. He’s grabbing mugs and spatulas as I’m grabbing bowls and forks and we move around each other as we find a place for everything and everything in its place. Stepping […]

How To Have a SMART Marriage, Starting Today

The miracle question that will change your focus

“Hey, honey, how would you rate our marriage, on a scale of 1-10?” I asked as we were hiking. Long pause. “Ok, time’s up–why the delay?” I should know better than to expect an immediate answer…it’s not his way. “Well,” he said, “I was just thinking there’s always room for improvement, so I was trying […]

My Five Husbands

I have been married to at least 5 different men, and loved each one more than the last. Now, before you compare me to Elizabeth Taylor…let me just clarify…I have only been married once, but he has evolved, as have I, over the course of 36 years. Idealistic seminarian The first man was the idealistic […]