Kathy: Good morning, Kristin and Danny, and welcome to the show. How are you guys today?
Kristin: We're great. Thanks for having us. Yeah.
Kathy: I am so glad to have you join us this morning. And I am really eager to hear your story. You know, I always do some research and I poked around a little bit. And Kristen, I found some things about you, but Danny, you're a little bit more of a mystery, so
we'll draw some of that out today.
And first of all, I want you to give us all the W's, you know, who are you? What do you do? Where do you live? Who's in your family?
Kristin: Sure. Okay. Well, we are Kristin and Danny Adams and we are online, digital content, creators, and public speakers and authors. Now our first books coming out soon, which is weird to say that, that we're now adding that to our, to our title.
Um, we have two amazing children, Harper and Harper is 10 years old. And, uh, we kinda got known, um, on the, on the internet for making lip-sync videos. That's, um, the ones that just started going viral for us. And, uh, but we we've been creating content and entertaining long before that. Um, it's just kind of what has happened in the last five years and has really changed our lives for the better.
Um, but, but also has come with new. It's a new world that we've been living in the last five, six years we met we'll, we'll get into all the things, but we live in Indianapolis now, which is Danny's hometown. Um, but we lived 15 years in LA prior to that. That's where we met. And so now we are all about raising our kids in the Midwest and making family friendly content and, um, encouraging other people to, um, just, you know, love God and love others as best as they can.
Kathy: I love that. I love that. Being comedians, I had to ask this question. What is the craziest or funniest thing you've ever done on a date or date night?
Danny: On a date or date night
night craziest thing. Uh, wow. We, we had some pretty epic adventures when we were, when we were dating. Uh, when I was courting, Ms. Kristen here, a couple of things we did was, uh, we, we didn't
Kristin: go ahead.
And took you to San Francisco. I basically packed his bag for him and said, we're getting on a 6:00 AM flight. And I wanted to do something special for him because we had met in LA, but he lived in San Francisco, kind of like his life before me. And so I wanted to like share in that with him because I knew he loved that city and I knew he would just be geeked to do that.
And so I think for us, spontaneity is really. We both love to just do something on a whim. Um, we're, we're both down for that. So if the other one's like, Hey, we're going here tomorrow. It's like, all right, let's go. Um, so I took him to the airport at 6:00 AM. He, I did a pretty good job. He had no idea where we were going until they said we're going to San Francisco.
So we just had like a 24 hour trip and planned a whole bunch of things. And it was just great. And I think that's one of the things we both love most about each other is just that our willing, our willingness to try new things, no matter what it is. Yeah, I
Kathy: love that. And spontaneity, and it's amazing what you can pack into 24 hours.
Kristin: Right. That's how we felt when we were on the flight home, I was like, oh my goodness. I mean, we, it was a nonstop,
Danny: it was, it was a blast. It was a big surprise, but very, very lovely. Yeah. Yeah. We used to, we did a lot of things. We had some theme dates. We did an all day Italian thing. A date
Kristin: Danny planned that for me when we lived in LA, he was like, we're just going to do all things Italian.
So we like went to the Getty museum, Getty villas, which is most people go to the Getty, which is right off the 4 0 5 in LA. It's a huge museum, but they have a smaller, um, kind of component of it that's in Malibu, that's called the Getty Villa. And so we did that. We had Italian food, the cool local spot that you picked.
What else? Yeah. I remember he had like an Italian, like a playlist plan. That was all the Italian buds.
Danny: Yeah, we had, we went to a couple of concerts right around that time, went to , Tony Bennett live at the Hollywood bowl. And, uh, we did Michael Buble live at the Greek theater, two amphitheaters that are amazing
Kristin: and we lovea good live concert.
Kathy: I'm, I'm missing that. We went to one, a 4th of July evening. There was a concert locally and it was so great to hear live music.
Kristin: It's the best. And when you have like, just seasoned entertainers, like a Tony Bennett, like a Michael Bublé, who were just so good off the cuff with the crowd, like Michael would like, could be a comedian in his own.
Right. The show we went to, he was hilarious and like playing off the crowd and all that stuff. And it just made for such a great night.
Danny: And, and you, you had mentioned comedians with that's, we, I think that's a little bit tougher for us to accept and embrace that, that title, because that's not what we claim.
Kristin: We don't, we don't do
So the other night I walked into a bar.
Danny: I was in comedy before, before Kris and I were together. Um, but, but as together I would say, you know, we fall more into like, Hey, we're just entertainers. Um, you know, as we go out, we do comedy but not comedians. That's exactly it. Yes, because there's this huge expectation when someone's labeled as a comedian, you walk in, they're like, okay.
Be funny. But honestly, even our live shows that we do, it's all about the people, Kris and I have a couple of little bits, but for the most part, we're making the, the evening about the people there. The people are funny and we, Chris and I just become commentators and facilitators of fun.
Kristin: We're improvers ,
Danny: we improvise.
That's a big part of our live shows. It's probably 70% improv.
Kathy: That is so great. And that was something I picked up from Joy and Matt's interview. Was the whole idea of yes. And yes. That he promised to “yes, and” her million entrepreneur ideas.
Kristin: So it's so true. And it's such a good key for marriage. Um, I was, I was leading a small group a few months back.
Um, some other women who were just running businesses or ministries or families, whatever it is, and the topic was like how to have fun in your marriage, how to keep the fun in your marriage and the joy and the laughter, even when things are hard. And that was one of my sessions was pulling from Danny.
You know, the things that he's taught me over the years, cause he studied the Groundlings, which is an improv theater in LA and, um, and grew up doing sketch comedy and all the things. And then he brings me into this fold and, and he's like, one of the main rules of comedy is to not negate. So if I've got an idea in a scene, you need to be right there and “yes, and” don't, it's weird for the audience for you to be like, no, we're not going to do that.
And, and it was one of my principles that I applied in our marriage was like, you have to meet that person where they're at. Otherwise you kill the funny. You kill the vibe and the flow, and they're just constantly feeling shut down. Yeah.
Danny: Yeah, that's it, that's probably the area within our live events that God's graced us in is to have a chemistry on stage this continuing to just bounce off of each other and take whatever's thrown out there.
And just, and we're were sort of the Kings of like wringing things out and continuing the ball Kris trying to get every ounce out of the, out of the way. And it's
Kristin: true because we do live events. And so every show is different. And like Danny said, we bring the people on stage. We have volunteers, we play games, we do these things.
And so you can have a plan in your mind of how you're going to do things right. People are unpredictable, you know, they could give you an answer you've never heard of, they could do these things. And so I think for us in our marriage, the, the, the thing that we, like, we get a lot of things wrong, but, but one of the things we get right is supporting each other in those moments of like, trusting that wherever he's taking it is going to go somewhere great.
Even if in my head. I had a totally other idea. I was going to go this way, but he's already said it in front of all the people. And so here we go, you know, and just trusting that, like, it's going to be funny,
Danny: which actually really speaks to people without speaking. You know what I mean? There's, there's, there's something about a chemistry on stage with a husband and wife.
Um, cause I think we've all seen a husband and wife dynamic on stage and, and you could see where one might. You know, more of the stage than the other, or what does that one fit in? How do they, how do they make them? And that's, that is really an area. Cause Kris and I, before we started working together, we observed that and you see, you know, some of the more, the better combinations and some of the more awkward ones.
And for Kris and I, we just said, Hey, and obviously it comes with being a little more seasoned and the more that you do it, you just trust more. And so it was like, look, they're going that direction. I had something to say. If it's really needed to be said, it's going to come back around right now. I'm going to trust that what they're saying, that's the direction we want to go, and I need to keep that ball rolling.
Then you start having, uh, the split ideas and all the things. So it's a, it's, it's something that we, but we don't take credit for. We, we honestly it's, it's part of the, all right. Let's pray and agree before we get on stage and believe that God's going to grace and we're operating in one accord.
Kathy: Uh, well, speaking of, you know, just keeping the ball rolling, I'm going to do that now because something popped into my mind in terms of one of the challenges of working together as a couple.
And especially when you're addressing marriage is, not every night, are you really liking each other? Right. So I'm sure you've had the experience of maybe you've had a squabble on the way, or I don't know. It's just, you're in kind of a funk in your relationship. How does that ha how do you move beyond that when you then are there to speak to people and to facilitate some marriage growth?
Danny: Yeah, that can be challenging because, because Kris and I have handled conflict differently in the past, um, you know, Kristin is head down, get the job done. She's more results driven. I'm more people driven. And so where I would want to say no, we have to have the talk in the locker room before we're at our best to go out.
She's like the talk can, wait, let's get the job done. Well, we'll handle this afterwards. And I'm like, there is no show unless this show on the same page. And so that's, those are areas that we've had to get counseling to work through because the reality is if we're being completely real, not only is there an enemy, an adversary trying to take your marriage out, right.
We have an opponent who is strategizing and knows all of our strengths and weaknesses. So he's trying to take our marriages. For starters, but when you start moving in the direction of making an impact for an, a godly impact, there's so many, much
Kristin: more in any realm, even any with your neighbors or the person at the grocery store or on a big stage,
Danny: the, the opposition is there to really put some spiritual warfare up against you.
And now you're navigating not only. The fleshly,
Kristin: carnal annoyance,
Danny: but there's a whole other, you know, seeds planted and, and, and ultimately he just wants to envision, he wants to, to get you on different pages. So you're ineffective. And because we know that, two is better than one and we're what God has joined together, man.
That's, uh, there's, there's some powerful statements in that too, to people who are, who are looking on. So
Kristin: fights on the, we had gotten in fights on the way to a marriage event that we're leading. Um, we've gotten, we talk about it in our book. Um, getting in a fight on the way. Or a counseling session. Um, but that's the best, the raw material. This was, you know, we kind of know you through Joy Eggerichs Reed, whose father's Emerson Eggerichs, who is our mentor.
And we actually were on the way to he and Sarah's house just to spend a day with them. And our kids were, we were coming through Michigan and they that's where they live and we get in a massive fight on the way to their house. I'm an image person. Like we need to come, like we have our life together. Okay.
We don't show up in shambles. That is not what you do. And Danny's more like, Hey, we have issues and we, who better to bring them to light too, than the best counselor in America, you know? Um, and I'm like, they're going to know that we're not perfect. Um, and so we show up not how, you know, in my wildest dreams.
I mean, I grew up in the south where you need to look like you have it together. You don't have people in your home when you don't have something to offer them and you don't have your hair done and all these things. And so I'm showing up with makeup running down my face. We're mad at each other. My kids had never even met them and we ended up staying for three days at their house doing intensive counseling.
Um, And so we that's part of the reason that we were like, we, we do want to write a book, even though we feel unqualified to write a book because people watch our videos where we'd have costumes on and we're like, Hey, you know, and we, and we have fun together and that's real, but then we also have fights on the way to counseling.
So the perception
Danny: is, is that it's just, hunky-dory all the time. And it could actually. I think there's joy that that is brought from the videos because people are laughing, right. We know what that is truly medicine. So there's that moment. But then also the moment when you finish where you're, cuz be the voice of speaking to people saying, I wish my marriage was like that.
Why can't I have a marriage like that? And so the, the opportunity that God's given us is that we can go out and be transparent to say, look, that video was a four minute video. But there are many hours and minutes left in the day where we approach life very differently. Kristininand I are super different in how we were raised, you know, what sort of our, our, what our, what our Enneagram numbers would be and all those things.
So we're very different. We, God has just that specific area. He's graced us where we're both performers. We can come together. There's a chemistry there, but we have to work literally in a good way for each other. To, to, to kind of work together. Right. And so it's, that's the reality. And when we're able to talk about those things, especially like in our book.
Kristin: Very healing and very, and very revealing. There were many times where we told Zondervan our publisher, like we can't. Yeah, just forget this, like, I'm sorry. It's this is the train's already left the station, but we have to stop because we felt like we were writing things that we didn't have healing from.
And we also in my, for me personally, realizing yeah. How I've hurt Danny over the years before marriage, during marriage, just things that I've said or done how I've handled things and that there was still a hurt heart there from past things. And so we would have to stop and be like, we need to talk about this before we write this chapter.
Danny: yeah. And the realness of, because Kristen is a doer. Continued to push aside because it's hard to go deep. It's hard to pull up old wounds. And so for instance, they'd know, just keep the train moving because just keep swimming, which was a lot of that. A lot of people will find themselves in a safe.
If if the image is perceived as something, then let's not, let's not touch the deeper stuff. And for over time, it's okay. You know, but over time, those wounds can start really hurting to where the flags need to be raised to say, we have to address some things here that like they have to work. Not only do I know that you're hurting, but.
And so with that, you know, I think that we truly lean into Proverbs 17:22, where a merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones and the spirit was being dried out. It's like we can throw on that, the funny hats and do the things. And there is some there's medicine for us when we see that people are getting medicine for themselves.
So there's, there's that whole thing there, we are making an impact, but I feel like God, in terms of. What he was revealing to the process of this book is ultimately going to be a blessing, a huge blessing for the law.
Kathy: And I love that you guys are honest enough to S to reveal your vulnerability because the reality is there is no perfect marriage.
Kristin: Can I get an amen?
Kathy: And, you know, I've tried to be really careful in my writing and my work. And, um, even on this podcast to say, look, Mark and I ,we've been married 41 years. We do not have, nor did we ever have a perfect marriage. We're imperfect people, but we are people in process still. And we've done a lot of work.
And because of that, we can say to people, you know, we can come alongside people and say, I know that struggle, we've been there and, or maybe we're there now, you know? And so it's a great reminder that we don't have to be perfect or look perfect before we can bring some hope to other people because it's very discouraging,
couples look around and think, Ooh, you know, this and this is happening. And are we the only ones? And it's like, no, you're not. So you're not that that's part of these conversations is, um, you know, to allow other couples to hear the reality that there are good days, their bad days, there are good years.
There are hard years. We had a season of oh goodness, several years that were just really dark and not so much because of our marriage, but just some life stuff, right?
Kristin: Yeah, yeah,
Danny: yeah. Yeah. And talk about when we get the opportunity when we do speak out and just cause there are people that attend. Our, our date nights and little marriage, nice that we have that, that are all over the board.
You have newlyweds and you have those that have been married 50 years and, and that all the seasons are different because whether it is something internally or external that affect the marriage and we continue to change. I said, you're
Kristin: in process. Then you were, when you first got married.
Danny: Yeah. I think that, I think understanding what that process looks like.
I mean, for us it's yeah. Look, if we have a view of eternity and now we, you know, if we can keep that in mind and keep a big picture perspective, it's going to help. It's going to help through these hard times and understand that we're ever being, you know, we serve the Potter. We're the clay forever being molded and shaped into his image and what that looks like.
But life, it's tough sometimes. I mean, at the end of the
Kristin: day, it's a vapor, like you're saying, look at eternity, this too shall pass. And, and I, you know, and like Danny was saying earlier, you know, Satan wants us to look at each other as our as the enemy. And when he's the enemy, you know, he's the enemy.
He's the one that's trying to get up in here, but for so long, and this is what was revealed in the book. I was viewing Danny as my enemy. And that I, I, if he would bring anything to me, my defenses would go up and I just did not know how to have healthy conflict resolution. And I'm still trying to get tools to get better at that.
Um, but the fact that we've, I've been able to say, And have self awareness. And even for Danny is healing for him to, for, for me to say, Hey, I, I need to work on that and I need you to give me grace while I get through it, because I may not, it's not going to happen overnight. Right. And sometimes I'll, I'll put these things into practice.
And I, you know, I asked the Lord to help me in those areas and I'll do I'll, I'll I'll have make progress, but then I have a setback and I'm like explode again. Or I, I react in a way that's not loving. And then it would send him and like, this is never going to change. This is what I need my life. And, and so we've really just had to learn to be like, Hey, we're in this to make each other better.
But it's going to be a hard process sometimes. I mean, iron sharpens, iron, that's like a hard thing. Like you're being shaped and you're being molded and it hurts sometimes, but it's always for our good and for his glory. Um, but yeah, we are right there in a yes. And amen situation with you. There is no perfect marriage because there's two imperfect people, always in the marriage.
And, but that being said, there's still ways to get victory and to grow and to get better. You don't have to be in the same place that you were, you know, 20 years ago, or even yesterday, if you keep committing to, you know, bettering yourself and, and loving God.
Danny: And there's something to say about. You know, one thing I've I've learned is that, you know, to, to understand your spouse, you know, they're, they're responding or reacting a certain way based on, uh, stress and anxiety whatever's happening.
But if we don't understand it, it can just look crazy to us because it's just like, no, and now you're beating me up because if we love our spouse as an, in my case, as a husband, as Christ loved the church, then I have to lay down myself to say, W there's a reason why there's there's, there's some wounds there that now she's not trusting me bringing something that is exposing or, or tapping into the wound that has her re you know, responding that way.
Cause the heart could be the right intent to bring something. But if something is sort of, you know, manifested out of that, you're saying, okay, Now there's some deeper wounds and, and that's, uh, as I've learned, I mean, that's a covering of the husband to take, you know, my position of what I'm supposed to do and lay down my life for her to cover her in prayer through some of the most difficult times.
And, and there are seasons of life when one of us is going to be. The other is strong, right? We're not always going to be strong at the same time, but the grace, the mercy, all the things that Christ has shown us of like, how would Christ handle this situation? And that's, that's where I think we all desire to be now in the moment.
Don't we, we missed the mark quite
Kristin: often. Yeah. Danny would be like, I'll, I'll be like, you know, in one of my, you know, heated fellowship moments with Danny and, um, and I just. I can be very dramatic. I need someone to like, go there with me. I need to know that you're tracking with me. I need like something from you to like, be with me.
And when Danny doesn't give that to me, like sometimes I just want him to be crazy with me for a couple minutes, you know, like join me in crazy, please. Just so that I can know that
Danny: I care, I get you. Okay.
Kristin: And then in those moments we need to pray and I'm like, I do not want to pray right now. Like that's the last thing that I want to do.
And so we've had to just learn, like he said, learn your spouse and go like, okay. K needs me to say babe you're right. I can see how that would make you want to punch a wall or punch me. Okay. And validating you, but let's come down. Let me, let me know when we can come down.
Kathy: I'm real curious. You talked about your differences and we're all different. Um, are you comfortable sharing your Enneagram type or not? And if
not, it's okay.
Kristin: Yeah, I'm a three and at times a very unhealthy three. Um, but I am a self-aware.
Kathy: And so what
does that translate to for people that may not be as familiar with the
Kristin: Yeah. Um, it's a performer. Achiever is kind of what a three is labeled as, um, they are very results driven like Danny was talking about, um, they. They want to succeed at all costs, which can be the unhealthy side of a three, um, meaning that they could cut corners or they could step on people on their way to climbing the success ladder, um, and not be aware of.
Of others that are right in front of them. And oftentimes those are the others that are helping them to succeed. But in their mind, it's, this is the goal and this, the show must go on type of thing. And we're not like Enneagram experts. So someone could be watching this that really knows the Enneagram and be like, that was a horrible description of the three.
I'm just telling you that that's what, when I've taken the test, that's what I am. We did it in the last, the last couple of years for some like groups. We were a part of that. And so that's what I would identify as, as a three.
Danny: I would, uh, when I took the test, I was, I was more of a two than anything. And a two is, is more people pleasing.
And, um, at sometimes to the detriment of, of your own self you're, you're, you're wanting, you're wanting people in the room to be. Happy and good. And so, um, so there's that part of it, but I'm also, I'm sort of a seven too. I like to have a lot of fun. And, um, and I would think, and I always say people would probably use too.
We talked about changing in life. I used to be probably more of a seven than anything, actually caring
Kristin: only about having
yea, and less responsibility and less about people, um, than I am now, when I actually had rededicated myself to Christ, I sort of, my identity changed and I, and I, and I learned that life. Wasn't all about me.
And I learned that it was that we got the most fulfillment about serving others.
Kristin: And we're not saying that seven now you found Christ. You need to leave seven and be a two. That is not what we were saying. Desire to be loved by people, which I do think is a seven thing too, because they like to have fun and make sure that everyone's like everyone's having fun and have a rainbow in their hair.
Yeah. But, um, but, but twos just do have, they have to talk a lot about the needs and that is like, so Danny, like, even, even like he said to the detriment sometimes, like it can be the wrong time. Like we're about to go onstage to perform for people. And David's like, we need to talk about Danny just said, Kristen and David
Danny: it's like the old pastors used to say, you know, as their ending service. “Are all hearts clear”. Right. Are we, are we good today? I grew up in churches like that and they wouldn't, they wouldn't. Does anyone, does anyone
Kristin: need to confess?
Danny: Yes. Yes. And that that's sort of my heart and moments with people is I really, and that goes to even our family little moments.
I want to make sure that we're all good. You know, you know, my grandfather used to say, we, you know, chances are, we may never be gathered again. Like we are right. And so, so let's get it out there. I've seen so many families just never tap into those old wounds and they're just existing. They're going to go to their grave, not handling, but the freedom that Christ offers that is out there.
If we just put it on the table,
Kristin: In front of Uncle Joe, and God and everybody! It's scary for most people. And then Danny's over here. Like, come on, come on right now. In front of Uncle Joe, and God and everybody.
Danny: Matter of fact, you're dying slow. Cause then your house tearing all the bitterness and unforgiveness around. So let's just get up. That's my heart. And I do believe that there's
Kristin: a, that's why he's like, you can't be a seven because that's not fun.
Danny: Did you try to marry the two? You try to make it fun, but, but the reality is sometimes, you know, you, you kind of have to say.
Now's the time to let's, you know, let's shed some tears. There's, there's fun. On the other side of this there's freedom and fun on the other side of stuff. Well, and
Kathy: that's that, is it at least, you know, in a marriage component, um, that is how you become more intimate, right? Is that the more layers I'm willing to take away?
and let you see my soft underbelly and I bring up the Enneagram because I am not an Enneagram expert either. There are many good podcasts that really go in depth, especially in the context of marriage, you know, what the different types are, but where we have found it really, uh, powerful is just. Understanding your own dark side, what you don't want to see about yourself.
And it's more about understanding yourself first, but then, you know, having a tools, some, uh, and, and again, it's not perfect. And some people are very opposed to personality assessments. I personally find very helpful. Um, whether it's the Disc, I do a disc profile with couples and it's very insightful in terms of understanding,
Kathy: where you're different because it's just our human nature that we, we assume everyone sees the world the way we do right.
But we're very different. Even if now you're both twos and threes. You're both heart center, uh, two, three fours, the heart center. And so you do have a lot in common, but you come at it differently. But, uh, mark and I have found it really helpful in terms of I'm a two, I identify as a two, um, with probably more of a three wing, a little more of a performer, um, image, that sort of thing.
Mark is an eight, um, very, uh, Decisive. Thus the multiple entrepreneur,
Kristin: you know, a lot of entrepreneurs are eights that I've found in our life too, that we know of. So, yeah. Yeah. So it's interesting. I agree with what you're saying, that it can be very helpful and I'm sure you, on the other side, it's like the only downside is that when you leave God out of the equation, I think people can lock themselves into, well, this is how I.
And these are my weaknesses and they're going to be there and that's just who I am. And it's like, oh, but God's the X factor. And you know, and can grow you in those, in those weak areas. But, um, the two wing three, or I'm sorry, the threes and twos together, from what I remember reading and the Enneagram, and we've taken other personality tests too, that said the same thing.
We can be fire and ice. If we're both unhealthy, like an unhealthy two and unhealthy three can just be a disaster. I mean, we took a personality test years ago before the Instagram. It was basically like, if you want peace in your life, then your personality types should stay away from my personality type.
There is no peace. And it's funny, not funny because that's kind of how we felt at times, but can also be very discouraging if you're not a person of faith to hear that and to go, well then should I just throw in the towel? I mean, did I marry the wrong person the whole time? God is up there going, I am not surprised at who you married at all.
This is not by accident, This is by design, you know, so that you can sharpen each other. And then on the flip side, a healthy two and a healthy three are like dynamic, like on the Enneagram. It's like, this is, I mean, this, you guys are going to go blow some stuff up for good, you know, And that's been, what's held us on things like that.
And obviously promises in scripture that are like, don't throw in the towel when things get hard, because the blessing is often right on the other side of you sticking through and breaking through. And doing that, but most people like Danny saying to go back to it, don't want to put in the hard work of digging, digging it up.
Cause it's hard.
Kathy: And it's really about working on yourself first. And that to me is the power of the Enneagram is that it is a very deep and really more spiritually based, um, than, uh, any other. Yes, you know, profile I've come across. And I, I heard a term many years ago and that was take the long look. And you guys have spoken to that in terms of, you know, right now is not forever, but if you have some tools to be able to hang on and take that long look and where do we want to be in five years, 10 years, 50 years, you know,
Kristin: how long have you guys been married?
We're celebrating 13 years. This October. Yeah. Yeah.
Danny: To that point, I'll let you continue with your questions, but we, uh, a mentor of ours, uh, told me that we want the Jericho wall to come down immediately. But sometimes it's brick by brick and that's a, that's, you know, you want the change to happen in your life, but man, the process and the journey, that's part of that amazing testimony and the maturity that God grows us up in during that time.
Kathy: And you'll look at where you are now and think that you've come so far and you probably have, and 20 years from now, you'll look back and go, wow, we didn't know how much more growth we had personally. And again, you know, a marriage is only as strong as the two people that make it up. So, you know, if you want a strong marriage, you work on yourself first.
Kristin: It's so true. I kind of feel like it's not really, you're not really working on your marriage. That's kinda, it is. You're working on the things that make up your marriage, which is the two people. And, you know, I can pray for Danny, um, but I, I can't change Danny and he can pray for me, but he can't change me.
And, and that's not, shouldn't be the goal, you know, that should be the goal. And I think even in the midst of us going through our hard times, which have been recent this past year was really hard. Like we said, 2020 was hard for everybody. It was hard on our business. It was, um, that year we were writing our book where things, like I said, were healed and revealed and.
It, it made us, they made me question so many things. It got us both to a point where we were like, is this the time to, to have a ministry? Do we just need to stop everything and do this? And so there's such value in being in a place of surrender all the time. Um, which is really hard for any Enneagram three, for sure.
Um, for someone who has to keep has to have plates spinning on all the times to feel valued and to feel worth something. But I also have to go that does not line up with the truth of scripture. Like God loves me, whether I had 10 plates in the air or no plates in the answer. And I think I'm still letting that truth sink in.
To to me, because if the videos went away, if our viral, you know, if nobody cared, if I, all my accolades went away, you know, am I at a place where I know that God loves me no matter what if I never did another thing. And if he never did another thing for me, do I love him? You know, just as much it's really, I just want to stay in that place.
And I think a hard year, if anything got me there to be like, Hey, if it all comes crashing down, I'm loved. Jesus loves me and I love him.
Kathy: Yeah. Your business is primarily speaking. Is that right?
Danny: Yes. The business would be, we we've taken the past. We moved to Indiana in 2016 and that marked us going full-time in the digital space.
So we committed to do a new video for our audience, was which at that point was my mother's church.
You're committing to just be consistent and have it have an online presence of doing a video one time a week,
Kristin: and this was leaving traditional careers in entertainment. I was a television host for 15 years. That's all I ever did, for work, with a small stint as a radio DJ once upon a time. Um, but other than that, I've always been in entertainment and Danny was doing stunts for sports commercials at sports films
Danny: Grew up stage with a family that did variety show and that kind of thing.
And so I was, I wanted to pursue comedy sort of at another level. And I piecemealed my work in Los Angeles and the entertainment world, different ways, but that's all that we knew. So it was a big faith move, moving from California to Indiana, which is all in the
Kristin: We don't have to get into it now, but this was like, we had never talked about moving to Indiana.
So when, when this man came down from the mountain, literally like went away to pray in California and came back and shared this news with me. I was not having it. It was like shocking to me. Um, but yeah, it was a total God thing and we drug our feet. Didn't obey right away. Um, the God's saying move, um, which we talked about too, but we finally did and we get here.
And within eight months, we ha our online audience had grown from, you know, under, under five to 10,000 people, 2000 to 500,000 through the course of a couple of videos going viral. And then now to almost a million people in our online audience. And so, um, it really was nothing that, no, we didn't read a book on like how to make viral videos.
We didn't read a book on how to monetize YouTube content. Like we didn't know any of that. Danny taught himself how to edit, took a couple of classes at apple when they used to offer those for free. Now that now they don't. I think, I think they stopped that program cause Danny was using it so much and this one guy.
Um, but, uh, but so we, it was all like, uh, a self-taught situation, slope, slow growth.
Danny: And so that's all that we did. We didn't have any engagements because no one knew that we were out there. Right. So we, but we started doing these funny videos. And then when the videos started going viral, we started getting calls like, oh, we'd love to have you entertain.
What would that look like? What would that kind of show look like? And you just start saying yes, because we had money. We had no income, just posting videos, doesn't you know, that doesn't, that's not going to pay a mortgage, right. So we had to say, you started saying yes to these events, which is actually part of our heart.
We wanted to do that. Um, you know, what we're doing now live is all part of God's amazing plan of giving us snapshots back in the day of us working together. Full-time we
Kristin: We thrive when it's live. That's just our situation. Like we love being with a crowd. It's just a totally different thing. We love making videos.
But there's nothing like being in front of a live audience. That's sharing a moment of laughter with you. That's, you know, something unique happens in a room, explodes with laughter and you've made an experience together that it's just, you can't do that on a video. So for us, yes, 80% of our income was live events.
And the other 20 was made through branded spots on videos or ads and things like that. But most of our audience follows us on Facebook. not youtube, And so, you know, you can make a living and pay a mortgage if you have enough of an audience and you're doing that on, on monetized channels, but we were doing it on Facebook.
And most of our videos that went viral were lip-sync videos, which we don't monetize because of copyright copyrighted music. And so, um, so it just ended up that most of our, our livelihood was through live events.
Kathy: So prior to the live events, so you left California moved to Indiana, and you said a minute ago, Danny, you weren't making any income.
What, what were you guys living on?
Danny: So we, we basically our savings. So we obviously you have more of a disposable income.
Kristin: In Indiana than California.
Danny: Yes. I mean, Indiana is a great place to live. If you're taking a risk.
Kristin: It was, I mean, it was definitely like, okay, we didn't have all the money in the world. We couldn't come, you know, tinker around in Indiana for years, make videos.
The plan was kind of like, let's try it for a year and to see what would happen. And he's the high faith guy. He's the one that's like, yeah. Let's do it, you know, let's, let's sell everything we have and I'm like, um, and so I'm thinking we moved here. Okay, God, where's the big box labeled blessings, you know, that we're going to get for obeying what you said, and that's not how it happened.
Um, you know, we were faithful to make a video every week posted every Friday. Um, but after
Danny: doing that awhile, which we were having fun doing, you know, and the response was great, right? People are enjoying your videos, which was, which was a blessing. But the fact is your bank account is, you know,
Kristin: our followers were going like this and our bank accounts, like that (points down)
Danny: you know, that security is, is something important. And for me, I am, I, I can sometimes be so high faith that I. I'm in my just, you know, just keep following the, you know,
Kristin: I'm like literally pouring coins out of our like little jar that we had that we would throw coins in to go like on vacation at some point.
And I'm just trying to buy groceries. So it was not fun. It's a real thing. The first eight months, it was not fun for
Danny: me, you know, and we talk about it in the book and then we got it. And then we got a call from a, from a church in Oklahoma City, our very first call. It said we'd love for you to come and speak to our marriages here in the church.
And it was just one of those amazing, like, God, you you're, you're hearing our cry right now.
Kristin: And we had no price sheet like, oh, this is what it costs to bring us in, blah, blah, blah. We didn't even know what they were going to pay us, if they were going to pay.
Danny: He said what it was, what's it going to take to get you here?
Kristin: No, but I, I literally, I was like, it will take him, they have to buyour plane tickets because we can't charge those plane tickets to go to Oklahoma. I mean, it was, we were in dire straits at that point. I was like, we can not make another withdrawal on our 401k because we're going to, I mean, I'm picturing us,
shuffling along the side of the road and our bathrobes with like no hope, no purpose, no plan. You know, Danny's like, just hang on, babe. We're right there.
Kathy: 10 more years.
Kristin: But it's funny, not funny, but it was, it grew my faith muscles during that time, she brought that
Danny: up this morning, actually in our, you know, just, she made reference to that of, of saying, you know what, eight months, it seemed like an eternity then. It was eight months and all that God did in that eight months of strengthening faith and all the things to watch the promise that God, if he will take care of the birds of the air, he will certainly take care of his kids.
And he did. He came in and immediately after we got back from that first Oklahoma city trip, it was
Kristin: amazing. Honestly, we didn't even have notes. We had no slides. This was our first speaking event we show up and they're like, where's your stuff? We got our Bible here and we can tell some stories and tell how that's worked in our lives and stuff.
Danny: is God just showing up. Like we didn't, we didn't, we weren't qualified and still are not qualified.
Kristin: There's 9 billion other people they could have asked to go to that marriage conference,
Danny: the great time that God just showed up and did what he wanted to do. And as soon as we returned from that trip, we had our next video go viral, which ended up changing our lives.
Really, it went sort of international. It was a. Ultimately got hundreds of millions of views. And, and then the doors really started being flown open in terms of engagements and
Kristin: all the things. But I do want to just quickly add God's timing is so perfect. Even though I thought he was like eight months late in answering all of our prayers of like, where, where is the fruit of us coming here?
We go on that marriage conference. It was life-changing the testimonies that came back from it of just people that were so encouraged. Um, and then our video literally went viral. The night we got back from Oklahoma, we posted it, woke up the next morning. I thought something was wrong with my Facebook account because I'm like, what does that say?
How many views is that? Um, but it was like, God was like, it's never going to be about. The success of a video, like you had this marriage conference, there were real people there that were really impacted by what you share. And I just want you to know, like don't ever be distracted. Cause if that video had gone viral, even like three days before the conference or the night of the conference, like we would have been totally distracted.
Cause that's when like calls started coming in and everything and it was just like, he's like, it was like he was saying just don't ever forget that. Because if this all went away tomorrow, like your heart, I want your heart to just abide and to, and to be, be about people and to be about, you know, bettering yourself and being honest and encouraging others.
And so to this day, like that's what we're trying to do. That's what we're trying to do with this book. That's if there's any good thing in it that can help people. It's literally only there because God put it there. Not because we did. And so that's really it. So
Kathy: those early videos were those on marriage at the time?
Danny: They were all lip sync videos. It was literally just a, you know, people connect to music and, and if we're having a good time doing what we do,
Kristin: we had a couple of posts like on our faith, and maybe like one or two small, like, Hey, it's our seven year anniversary and we're going to give our seven things we've learned about marriage.
But 90% of our content was just feel good, fun. And so that pastor that called basically, it was like, I know you guys are believers because of your posts and stuff, but my wife and I mean, you guys just bring us so much joy watching another married couple, just do this there's you guys have to have something special if you're doing that.
And Danny was honest with him, he was like, we've never led a marriage conference. We've done announcements at church and brought the funny, and brought know. Um, and he was just like, Hey, I'll be there. I'll like rescue you type of thing. Um, I was like, good, because if we fail, we're going to blame you for bringing an internet couple in
Danny: for us.
Kristin: It was just like, Hey, I just want to do some different, I want my married couples to be inspired, to laugh, to have joy and just be honest. And that's what we did. Yeah.
Danny: And it lined up with what God was calling us to, which is important. Going even back to what we were talking about earlier. And that is having vision.
What's your mission statement? What do you have vision for your marriage? Because even in those seasons, when you. Taking a look inwards, which we all need to do improve ourselves, but sometimes you gotta be careful with the little whispers from the outside saying, you know what? Bettering yourself is getting out of this situation.
You're better alone. You have to say, yes, I need to better myself. But the end goal is that my, my marriage shines. This is what's going to speak to the world. This is what's going to make the greatest impact. The lie as is, no, you better yourself. You just do the entrepreneur stuff yourself, and sometimes you start separating
Kristin: the weight.
She's actually weighing you down or vice versa.
Danny: That would be the lie of saying, yeah, better you, just better you. And then it starts growing distance. You have to say, you're bettering you for this team. You're getting yourself, you're doing the off season training, but you're bringing your best back to this,
cause you're plugging into something way bigger than you. And ultimately this covenant right here, this union is ultimately there to reflect Christ. So that would be the coming back to the vision and the mission statement. It's about the team.
Kathy: I love that statement. Yes. Um, oh gosh. How much I want to ask you guys, but I'm mindful of the time and your two children that have been gloriously quiet.
Kristin: We put them in the basement. Gave him some crackers, go
Kathy: lock the door. That's the way to do it. Yeah, they'll be
I'm just trying to look at what else I wanted to ask you. Um,
Kristin: and Hey, I know we can always do a part two at some point, if you ever needed us. So we can do a part two. If you want to do that, if you feel like you have, you know, if there's enough there that you want.
Kathy: I do have more questions, but I do want to honor your time. And also you've mentioned the book, but go ahead and tell us what this big project is that you are about to release to the world.
So let's wrap up with that.
Kristin: It feels very crazy, but this is our book, The Road to Love and Laughter and, um, it's, it's really just our personal stories.
Um, how we met. I talk a lot about my television hosting career. Um, Danny talks about growing up in a singing evangelist family, um, which I didn't even know was a thing. Uh, and, um, we talk about kind of losing our faith and finding it again in Los Angeles of all places. Um, we talk about taking leaps of faith together as a couple, like moving across the country.
Um, we talk about what it was like to have a video go viral. Uh, we talk about the behind the scenes stuff. Like, like we mentioned it, yes. We have a knack of creating fun content and we do have a great time together. That is not a lie, but there's also a lot of hard work and heated fellowship that goes on behind us because
Danny: they're because of the differences, there's a chapter on differences, but then we follow that up with the chapter on team.
And, and how those differences, why they're there. So that's a, and then one of the, one of the funniest chapters is the man to man talk that I had with her father, her Southern Texas, her the purple heart Marine, who was an avid hunter in the city boy, going down to meet to meet this gentlemen,
Kristin: we bring fun, but we also share real stories.
And Kathy, what are you putting us up?
Kathy: It's going to air July 20th, I think is what we decided.
Kristin: Well, perfect.
Because today, July 20th is the day our book comes out and you can go to the road to love and laughter.com.
Kathy: Awesome. Thank you so much. You guys have been wonderful and, um, let's do schedule a follow-up.
I have more, I want to ask you and you've been such great guests, so we will talk again. Y'all have a great