“For better or worse” or some version, are the words most couples promise when they say “I do”. However, this doesn’t mean that we never ask for change in marriage. If iron sharpens iron, and we stretch to become a better version of ourselves through marriage, then something will be changing. Happily married couples often…
We are creatures of habit. Habits can be helpful. Creating a morning routine can shave time off your day when you don’t have to think about what comes next. Some habits evolve out of laziness–like leaving dirty clothes wherever they fall, to be picked up only when you run out of clean underwear. Lazy habits…
[guestpost]Sarah Sandifer is a mama to three darling and rambunctious little girls. She is married to her college sweetheart who now serves as an Army Chaplain and is taking them on quite the grand adventure. Sarah’s great loves are the Colorado mountains, dark chocolate and coffee, though she would be a total mess without the…
Having the right tools for the job Would you attempt to build a house without a hammer? Would you try to sew on a button without a needle? Would you hunt without a gun or a bow? Would you plant a garden without a trowel? Would you have a vibrant relationship without basic tools for…
The tension in the room was so thick we could hardly breathe. Hand grenades of words had been launched, and these dear friends came to us in search of a cease fire. We sat around the table, trying to navigate the hidden land mines, leftovers from their previous marriages. They had been married less than…
“Mom, could you write down some questions that we should be asking?” our daughter asked recently. She and her boyfriend are having more conversations about the future. Knowing my passion for healthy relationships, she trusted me with that question. This is a version of the letter I wrote in response. Dear H, You asked me…
Sometimes you CAN judge a book by it’s cover. This one, tattered from years of rereading, was a gift I have treasured for 30 years. Some may only know of Charles Lindbergh, the famous aviator. However, his wife, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, was a gifted writer. This little book, written on a two week retreat in…
“Hey, honey, how would you rate our marriage, on a scale of 1-10?” I asked as we were hiking. Long pause. “Ok, time’s up–why the delay?” I should know better than to expect an immediate answer…it’s not his way. “Well,” he said, “I was just thinking there’s always room for improvement, so I was trying…
Falling in love is not hard…but love is not enough to keep a marriage healthy. Some people learn that truth, and sear it in their mind. Others ink it into their skin, where it will be a constant reminder. And if I could help couples understand that you can love someone, but not be compatible,…
Marriage is that relationship that becomes comfortable over time, like your favorite pair of jeans or shoes that are broken in just so. With that comfort, though, is an alternate reality–familiarity can breed contempt. The things we say to our spouse out of anger or frustration sometimes are things we would NEVER say to a…